Insomnia

This subject deserves a rather long post of its origins and connections to Aspergers, but for now all I have to share is deep frustration. As usual when I have too many things to digest, too many things than need sorting out in my brain, sleep eludes me.

It's now almost five am, and despite a double dose of a sleeping pill that sometimes/mostly helps me I'm still awake, alive and kicking. Frustration is beginning to build as I think of the impact this will have on my day tomorrow. It doesn't bother me so much to be awake, but it DOES bother me to know that I will miss so much of my day tomorrow, either through sleeping or through walking as a sleep deprived zombie through the day. Either way, my patterns get messed up, and for an Aspie few things are more disturbing than that.

All you people with dependable day rhythms, all of you who can more often than not fall asleep at night, feel naturally tired, drowsy and drift of - you don't know the blessing that is bestowed on you! Revel in it, enjoy!! Believe me, night on the Far Side is not always a time for rest.

I'll try going to bed now anyway, snuggle up to Dan and maybe a dog (yes, they sleep in the bed). Set my alarm for a decent hour where I will have had rest but not so much to create a screwed sleep pattern. Maybe 10-ish or so. Thank god its the holiday season at least...